Anyone else had enough of this snow crap yet? 3 weeks ago I could see the grass now I've got a foot and a half of snow on it!If the pumpkin on your front step has more teeth than your wife.......you might be a redneck.
Hey Simon, send me an email and I'll send you some more if you want. mdemars@kent.net
Zeke
Pretty easy. as long as I have my family album I'll never run out.
Hi Mr. Demars,
Thanks for the entertaining spring, it helped to keep my mind busy so I didn't start too early and gave my Mom a laugh. When are you opening at Casino Rama?
Thanks for the laughs
Simon Southwell
PB 933 lbs. Pumpkin
PB 3.74 lbs. Tomato
PB 73 lbs. Long Gourd
If you've ever been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys...you might be a redneck
If you've ever bathed with flea & tick soap......you might be a redneck.
If you've ever been in a custody battle over a hunting dog....you might be a redneck.
If the dogcatcher calls for backup when he comes to your house.....you might be a redneck.
If you consider 5th grade your senior year.....you might be a redneck.
If you think a Volvo is part of a woman's anatomy.....you might be a redneck.
If your blood alcohol level is higher than your I.Q.....you might be a redneck.
If you consider you license plate personalized because your Daddy made it in prison....you might be a redneck.
If you are considered an expert on worm beds....you might be a redneck.
If you think nitrates are cheaper than day rates.....you might be a redneck.
This is my last post on this thread. Was going to keep it going til spring but I'm starting to get busy.
There should be enough examples here to let you know if your a redneck or not.
Two things to remember:
1. If any one of these examples pertains to you....you ARE a redneck.
2. If it ain't broke, it ain't ours!
If the home shopping operator recognizes your voice.....you might be a redneck.
If your mother has ammo on her Christmas list......you might be a redneck.
If you refer to the time you won a free case of oil as "the day my ship came in"......you might be a redneck.
If your entire family sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.....you might be a redneck.
If you think a turtle neck is the key ingredient for soup.....you might be a redneck.
If you've ever had to wait to use the toilet because your dog was drinking out of it .....you might be a redneck.
if you think a hot tub is a stolen bathroom fixture.....you might be a redneck.
If you think a subdivision is part of a math problem.....you might be a redneck.
If your junior prom offered daycare.....you might be a redneck.
If you've been married 3 times and still have the same in-laws .......you might be a redneck.
If you think Don Perignon is a mafia leader....you might be a redneck.
If people constantly come to your door thinking your having a yard sale.....you might be a redneck.
If you have ever worn a dress that's strapless and a bra that's not.....you might be a redneck.
If you ever stared at a can of orange juice because it said concentrate....you might be a redneck.
If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say cool whip on the side.....you might be a redneck.
If your Grandmother can properly execute the sleeper hold....you might be a redneck.
If going to the bathroom at night involves shoes and a flashlight.....you might be a redneck.
If you've ever been accused of lying through your tooth.......you might be a redneck.
If your checks feature pictures of dogs fighting....you might be a redneck.
If you own a Waffle House credit card....you might be a redneck.
If directions to your house include, turn off the paved road.....you might be a redneck.
If your dad walks you to school because you and him are in the same grade.......you might be a redneck.
If you missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.....you might be a redneck.
If your working TV sits on top of your non working TV.......you might be a redneck.
if your Mother keeps a spit cup on the ironing board......you might be a redneck.
If you think fast food is hitting a deer a 60 mph....you might be a redneck.
If the neighbors think your a detective because the cops always bring you home.......you might be a redneck.
If you've ever used a toilet brush for a back scratcher....you might be a redneck.
If you've ever hauled a bucket of paint up a water tower to defend your sisters honor.....you might be a redneck.
If you've ever used your ironing board for a buffet table......you might be a redneck.
if the most common phrase in your house is "somebody go jiggle the handle".....you might be a redneck.
If you see a sign that says "say no to crack" and it reminds you to pull up your jeans....you might be a redneck.
If your mother ever came out of the bathroom and said hey ya'll come and have a look at this before I flush....you might be a redneck.
If the UFO hotline limits you to one call per day....you might be a redneck.
If you go to your family reunion to meet girls....you might be a redneck.
If somebody hollers hoe down and your girlfriend hits the floor......you might be a redneck.
If you think a woman who is out of your league bowls on a different night.....you might be a redneck.
if wonder how the service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean....you might be a redneck.
Yep, always does this time of year. 52° tomorrow and 62° on Tuesday with rain both days. Should take care of the snow here. And.....
If the Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it....you might be a redneck.
LOL Zeke. The winter must be getting to you. The snow will be gone soon. I hope.
If you need a heavy duty pick-up truck to carry your pumpkin to a weigh off 4 hrs away......you might be a redneck.
If you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos....you might be a redneck.
If you think the last words of the Star-Spangled Banner are "Gentleman start your engines" you might be a redneck.
If you let your 14 year old daughter smoke at the dinner table, in front of her kids.....you might be a redneck.
If someone in your family died right after saying "Hey guys, watch this".....you might be a redneck.
If you think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.....you might be a redneck.
if your wife ever said, honey come and move this transmission so I can take a bath.....you might be a redneck.